Welcome to my world.
Welcome to my thoughts.
My name is Alan Jablon. There was a time when I didn’t even like the sound of my name. I would say it and it didn’t roll off my tongue, but got stuck. It sounded like a foreign language with no meaning attached to it. I had 45 years of seeing myself that way, and change did not come easy, but fortunate for me change did come. It came because I needed it to come. Unbeknownst to everyone around me I was very, very unhappy.
So much unraveling needed to happen for me to get where I am today. (Where am I? We’ll get there. Patience) I needed clarity to see who I am, who we are, and what our world is truly about. I am still on this journey and certainly will be for the rest of my life, and perhaps for eternity.
The breakthrough, (aha moment) came when I realized that my mind and thoughts are not me. It’s is the central concept to all that I am. My mind and the incessant conversation that it has with itself, always in the background are representative of my conditioning. That voice is my ego. It’s the voice of my mother, father, siblings, friends, teachers, enemies, TV commercials, and everything else that I have been subject to during my lifetime. I feel it is important for me to not only understand this concept, which is not too hard to do, but to live it as well. If the voice is not me then I am giving it way too much play in my life. All my emotional reactions come from that voice. I feel good when that voice tells me I am okay, and feel down when it tells me that I am not. It is all so very subtle. It never stops. The key is for me to understand that the voice is NOT my voice. It’s hard to do because it even sounds like me. By now some of you might know what I mean and some of you think I am hearing voices, and am more akin to David Berkowitz (Son of Sam). I am sure that it is an awareness that is the key to knowing who I am and who I am not. I have a lot of thoughts on this, and some of my writings will be about this concept of self-awareness.
I will not advertise that I am writing this blog. I won’t tell anyone. (Besides my life partner and maybe one day my children) If by some chance you find yourself reading it perhaps it was meant for you to find it. I am writing this because I think someone somewhere will relate to my thoughts and get some direction either agreeing or disagreeing, but either way being stimulated by it.